For All Cat Lovers

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

1) Pick the cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill in. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat again in left arm and repeat step #1

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm while holding back paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut to the count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from the top of wardrobe.

6) Call spouse from garden

7) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand, while forcing wooden ruler into mouth with the other. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

8) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note self to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

9) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with ear just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, insert end of straw and BLOW.

10) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans and drink a Coke to take away the taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

11) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, just leaving head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

12) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last date of tetanus shot. Throw bloody, torn t-shirt away and fetch another from bedroom. Then call fire department to retrieve the cat from the tree across the street.

13) Take last pill from foil wrap. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Get heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth, followed by a large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two liters of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches your fingers and forearm, and removes remnants of pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for pound to collect cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any cute puppies

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

1) Wrap it in bacon

30 Hour Fast

Hannah and some of her friends have decided to join an organized "Fast for Hunger" group this coming weekend. They are fasting from food for 30 hours and volunteering at the Kitchener homeless shelter. We are excited she is involved in this and hope all goes well. She is also staying overnight at the church during the fast (Friday night) in support of her friends.

Family Update

Just a few updates what has been happening at the Baxter household in March.

I have taken a temporary job with a Canada Post route driver for the next few months. I help him put the mail in the boxes during his trip on the rural route. I am still doing my regular shift in the office every morning; this is just something extra and is only for about 1 hour a day. It will give me a little extra horse money for the summer! :)

Daniel and Jim went to a motorcycle show today in Toronto. They were also planning on attending the Arena cross MX races in the evening (also in Toronto). Jim was hoping to ride the GO train so he wouldn't have to drive all the way downtown and find/pay for parking. They have been looking forward to this for a few months.

Julia and Leah have been busy getting ready for the next season on Pony club activities. We are part of a new branch that is starting in our area. The past couple of years we were with the branch up in Fergus and now we are looking forward to not having as much driving for the meetings. Today they were at the Quiz competition and their team won 4th place (out of 18). We are pretty excited because this is a very new and young group.

Leah bought a new pony. He is a 9 year old gelding, about 13 HH. He is supposed to be a Welsh/Hafflinger cross, but there are no papers. Leah wants to train another horse and thinks this will be a good project for her. If he is a nice pony, we may have to graduate Julia to him!

Andrew has been VERY busy working at McDonalds. During March break, he "missed out" on some of our spring cleaning because he had some long shifts there. I am concerned about his eating so many meals there. So far, though, he has done a great job of keeping up with his school work even though he works a lot. Its is testing his time management skills and he is doing great!

Hannah is keeping busy with school work and socializing. She LOVES going to our church's youth group every Friday (called Impact) and claims this is the highlight of her week. Shopping is still her other favorite activity, and she would love to have a ride to the mall at least twice a week! She has been saving her money for a camera, so she has had to limit her purchases.

Not much else is happening here. We have been having lots of sunshine and some warmer weather this past week. It has been great to see signs of spring coming!

Liver Spring Cleaning

These past 2 weeks, Jim, Hannah, and I have been doing a liver cleanse. We decided we wanted to improve how our immune systems were functioning. After researching it, this diet seemed to be the best way for us to do it. We are very limited to what we can eat (only lean meat, certain veggies and fruit, and supplements). We can't have any starch, sugar, dairy, salt, sweeteners, etc (junk), or carbs while on the diet. We also have to drink 640z. of cranberry water a day along with hot lemon water and ground flax seeds. The first week went fine, but it was hard to cook for just us three and then something "good" for the rest of the family. I am going on my second week, but have cheated some. Jim and Hannah decided they have had enough cleansing, but are careful what they are adding back to their diets. I would say it has been successful and feel more energetic. I am finding I have a food sensitivity to dairy and will be careful how much I eat from now on.

Why Did God Make Mothers?

(Answers given by grade 2 school children)

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is
2. Mostly to clean the house
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like the rest of us
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. .

What ingredients are mother made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?

1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your home?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Moms & Dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you to to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's house.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird think about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Season's End

My girls basketball team ended on a great note. We won the championship game in our tournament bracket. We were matched quite well with the other team and only won by 2 points. It was neck and neck the whole game, which made for lots of excitement and noise. I really enjoyed coaching and it was sooooo fun to be "back in the game!" It is all over, except our year-end party.

Goodbye to my man

Doc left today to go to his new home at Circle Square Ranch. We have had 3 great years with him and will miss him a lot. I am glad he is going to a nice home, but am sad to see my "first" horse leave! He will make a great trail horse for the ranch, I am sure.